Top Ten

Here is a funny follow-up to the Jackson trial from David Letterman's Late Show. His top ten lists are hugely popular and if you are interested in checking out the archives, click here.

Top Ten Things Overheard During The Michael Jackson Verdict

10. "We the jury find the defendant not guilty--oh God, did I say the wrong one?"
9. "Of course he's nervous--look how pale he is"
8. "Will Mr. Blake and Mr. Simpson please keep the laughter down?"
7. "No, I think he'll do fine in prison"
6. "I'm a celebrity in an L.A. courtroom--I like my chances"
5. "Do you think this'll be on the news tonight?"
4. "We the jury find the defendant creepy"
3. "Michael, good news--I just saved 15 percent on my car insurance by switching to Geico"
2. "Wait, have Tito, Latoya and Jermaine always been on the jury?"
1. "Another case of a white guy getting preferential treatment"


Top Ten Messages Left On Michael Jackson's Answering Machine

10. "It's Tito--congratulations. Could I borrow 50 bucks?"
9. "Barbara Walters here. I'll double any interview offer and throw in a giraffe"
8. "This is the courthouse lost and found. Can you describe the nose in question?"
7. "This is your bank--curious about the 12 checks you wrote for 'jury bribes'"
6. "This is your neighbor. Could you please send someone to get your chimp out of my pool?"
5. "Happy Father's Day from the lab where we artificially inseminated your sham wife"
4. "Change your outgoing message, dude--'Thriller' was like 20 years ago"
3. “It's Martha. Disregard the letter with cell-decorating tips”
2. "Tom Cruise here. I'm calling every person in America to tell them I'm in love with Katie Holmes"
1. "Hi, it's Saddam Hussein. Now how do I get one of them idiot juries?"